Each morning, I weigh myself. I know that you’re only supposed to do it once a week, but daily works for me.
Yesterday, I weighed 183, a bit above my target weight and even more over my desired goal. (The “Christmas 5” just wasn’t going away!)
This morning I hopped on the scale, fixated on the rightmost numbers. It said ’81. Wow! I lost a couple pounds. Then I realized something was missing. It didn’t say 181, just 81. Must be the batteries were going bad. I shook my head and lumbered into the shower.
As I washed the sleep from my eyes, weight loss claims percolated in my mind: “Lose weight while you sleep,” “Fast results—no diets, no pills,” and “Shed pounds without exercise.” Wait, I’ve heard all those before—but now I know the science behind them—a failing scale battery.
Next, I considered a tabloid headline: “Miracle weight loss—man sheds 100 pounds overnight.” Hold on; maybe, I’ve seen that one, too!
As I washed away the subconsciousness, my mind meandered to math. Was it 2.2 pounds per kilogram or 2.2 kilograms per pound—I couldn’t recall. If it was the former, it could be that I went to bed weighing 183 pounds and awoke a mere 81 kilograms. The math seemed about right—at least to the extent of doing it my head when I was not fully awake.
After my shower, I checked my scale. Yep, that was it. The “lbs/kg” switch went metric on me. I slid it back to its rightful spot and checked again. I was at 181—see, I lost weight after all!
Still it’s exciting to be a mere 81—or to think that I dropped 100 overnight. I wonder if the National Inquirer will buy my story?
Wordsmith Peter DeHaan is a magazine publisher by day and a writer by night. Visit peterdehaan.com to receive his newsletter, read his blog, or connect on social media.