Each morning, I weigh myself. I know that you’re only supposed to do it once a week, but daily works for me.
Yesterday, I weighed 183, a bit above my target weight and even more over my desired goal. (The “Christmas 5” just wasn’t going away!)
This morning I hopped on the scale, fixated on the rightmost numbers. It said ’81. Wow! I lost a couple pounds. Then I realized something was missing. It didn’t say 181, just 81. Must be the batteries were going bad. I shook my head and lumbered into the shower.
As I washed the sleep from my eyes, weight loss claims percolated in my mind: “Lose weight while you sleep,” “Fast results – no diets, no pills,” and “Shed pounds without exercise.” Wait, I’ve heard all those before – but now I know the science behind them – a failing scale battery.
Next, I considered a tabloid headline: “Miracle weight loss – man sheds 100 pounds overnight.” Hold on; maybe, I’ve seen that one, too!
As I washed away the subconsciousness, my mind meandered to math. Was it 2.2 pounds per kilogram or 2.2 kilograms per pound – I couldn’t recall. If it was the former, it could be that I went to bed weighing 183 pounds and awoke a mere 81 kilograms. The math seemed about right – at least to the extent of doing it my head when I was not fully awake.
After my shower, I checked my scale. Yep, that was it. The “lbs/kg” switch went metric on me. I slid it back to its rightful spot and checked again. I was at 181 — see, I lost weight after all!
Still it’s exciting to be a mere 81 — or to think that I dropped 100 overnight. I wonder if the National Inquirer will buy my story?
Wordsmith Peter DeHaan is a magazine publisher by day and a writer by night. Visit peterdehaan.com to receive his newsletter, read his blog, or connect on social media.