Achieve Incredible Weight Loss Results

Each morning, I weigh myself.  I know that you’re only supposed to do it once a week, but daily works for me.

Yesterday, I weighed 183, a bit above my target weight and even more over my desired goal.  (The “Christmas 5” just wasn’t going away!)

This morning I hopped on the scale, fixated on the rightmost numbers.  It said ’81.  Wow!  I lost a couple pounds.  Then I realized something was missing.  It didn’t say 181, just 81.  Must be the batteries were going bad.  I shook my head and lumbered into the shower.

As I washed the sleep from my eyes, weight loss claims percolated in my mind: “Lose weight while you sleep,” “Fast results – no diets, no pills,” and “Shed pounds without exercise.”  Wait, I’ve heard all those before – but now I know the science behind them – a failing scale battery.

Next, I considered a tabloid headline: “Miracle weight loss – man sheds 100 pounds overnight.”  Hold on; maybe, I’ve seen that one, too!

As I washed away the subconsciousness, my mind meandered to math.  Was it 2.2 pounds per kilogram or 2.2 kilograms per pound – I couldn’t recall.  If it was the former, it could be that I went to bed weighing 183 pounds and awoke a mere 81 kilograms.  The math seemed about right – at least to the extent of doing it my head when I was not fully awake.

After my shower, I checked my scale.  Yep, that was it.  The “lbs/kg” switch went metric on me.  I slid it back to its rightful spot and checked again.  I was at 181 — see, I lost weight after all!

Still it’s exciting to be a mere 81 — or to think that I dropped 100 overnight.  I wonder if the National Inquirer will buy my story?

What do you think? Please leave a comment!